Random Thought of the Day

After walking back from my review session I had Cake's version of I Will Survive stuck in my head. The delivery of second line and especially the phrase by my side got me to thinking that a hip hop version of this song could potentially be awesome. Then I started to think about it and this is one of the best foundations for a song ever. I think that you could adapt the song to any genre of music and it would sound awesome, if done properly of course.

What Chair?

It's been a while, but I finally have something worth writing about. First of all I never realized what a good name for a philosophy blog I have. As anyone who I've been in contact with these last two weeks can tell you I'm in philosophy mode. I've been reading Descartes' meditations, a fantastic read which I would recommend.

Now it's time to make my point. I will be making a journey similar to Descartes. Keep in mind this is not a counterargument or response to his work. As I will be following the logic of Descartes some necessary background knowledge will be necessary about the first two medetations. To be certain of all knowledge the foundation which it is based off of must be in itself itself impervious to doubt. Since our knowledge of the world comes from sensory perception, which is capable of deception, we must throw away all knowledge based on that foundation. Following this we cannot be sure of the truth of anything we experience. We can however be sure of our existence since we must exist in order to have experiences, whether they are reflections of reality or not. This is the famous cogito, which is usually phrased as I think therefore I am.

As I was reading meditation III I came to a startling discovery, once which is probably wrong since I am such a young philosophical mind, but I cannot stop thinking about it. If I (notice I am now using first person for the sake of ease. And I can't be sure any of you exist.) am a being which doesn't necessarily exist, but can be brought to exist, and does then something has caused me to exist. Each moment of my existence, even if thought of as independent of other moments of my life, does not entail that I will continue to exist. Also in each moment the same power is needed to sustain my existence, and this includes the first moment. If you have not yet reached the conclusion that I had, and continue to ponder, I will request of you to consider the following: my existence, which is the only thing I can be certain of, and my creation are directly caused by myself being a thinking thing. While you allow that statement to sink in think of this example: electrical power causes a light bulb to brighten, and the same power in the same quantity is necessary for its brightness to continue. I submit unto you this question: could I be the author of my own existence?

America beats Spain!

I thought that I was no longer reeling from the win, but as I continued to write my account of the miracle on grass I realized that I will always be amazed. At the time of the game Spain hadn't lost in 35 attempts, winning their last 15 in a row. They blew through the euros, and not a single team would feel they had an advantage over them. It was one of those special games that brings everyone together. From the very beginning I knew that this was going to be an intense game, but I had no idea it would be an American classic up there with the lezak race. The first goal set up a game full of American spirit with jozy refusing to let anybody take him off the ball. The way he held off the defender and turned into what seemed an easy goal reminded me of Thierry Henry (no seriously). Then with the back four and Tim Howard embracing the never give in attitude that has characterized the USA over our history became an inpregnable defense. Donovan and to a lesser extent Dempsey and Altidore throughout gave all they could to the team and consistenly ran down balls sprinted back to stifle the brilliant machine that is the spanish midfield and never slowed down. When Depsey's goal gave us some breathing space I started to think that this was going to happen. When the final whistle sounded it was not the end of the greatness of this game. Alexi Lalis' impassioned patriotic speach only added to the sweetness of this victory.

Denzin Theorem

The Denzin Theorem is a mathematical theorem that I devised when trying to answer a math question. At first I wrote a wikipedia article outlining the main points and origins of the theorem, but it was promptly deleted to my great sorrow. The theorem is as follows:

x/(y*10^-z)=x/(y*(1/10^z))=(x/y)*(1/(1/10^z))=(x/y)*10^z or (x*10^z)/y

This theorem was created after much debate and confusion over a simple problem(one that was solved before the theorem was even created). Even after it was forged the theorem proved useless, because due to miscommunication the problem at hand wasn't the problem the theorem set out to solve.

Conan

Conan for me has been the master of comedy for the last 16 years, at least what I've seen of it anyways. He has been easily better than anybody that has been on a late night program. For me it doesn't get any better than 1864 baseball, or when he calls out Fross Fagerstrom. I'll forever remember you for your late night show. On that same note, good luck with the Leno spot. Nobody deserves it more than you. To Conan...

You were supposed to destroy the sith, not join them!

National sports announcers that cover the Badgers must be the most stupid assholes on the face of the earth.
Asshole 1: "Hey did you hear that it's -20 degrees in Madison tonight?!?!"
Asshole 2: "-20 in Wisconsin in January?!?!"
Asshole 1: "I know I'm shocked too."
Dumb Bitch: "I've been talking to the players, and from what I've gathered they will just concentrate on the game, and that the weather will be a non-factor due to the fact that basketball is played indoors."
Asshole 1: "Really compelling sideline analysis....ya dumb bitch."
Asshole 2: "I'll tell you who's not cold. The football team's linemen. THEY AVERAGE 6'5" 316 POUNDS!!!!!!!HOLY SHIT!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

That being said the fight between Obi Wan and Anikin, now Darth Vader, at the end of episode 3 should be the most epic scene in all of movie history. With the exception of one maybe 2 lines that the writers fucked up Hayden Christianson single-handedly destroys all the suspense and fucking badassness in the back and forth that is created by Ewan McGregor. He (Kenobi) then, by himself, makes the scene awesome with his epic speech after defeating Vader.

Holy Shit! BANANCAKES!!!!

Have you done everything in a vain attempt to get rid of your disgusting rotten bananas? Hi, I'm Billy Mays here with a product that will literally save your life; Banancakes. You've tried the rest, now try the best. A Banancake, or bananqueque in Spanish, is simply pancake mix infused with old bananas, similar to banana bread. Everyone knows the risks that come with rotten bananas.
Woman: "I worry about it everyday."
We all do, just ask this scientician about what one rotten banana did to a poor eight year old.
"uhh.."
He'll tell you that every rotten banana comes with inherent dangers and life threatening ailments, but the patented Banancake technology removes all of these dangers. If you aren't convinced yet then we'll cut the original price in half, throw in a free Banancake, and this rusty old hubcap that you've just been dying to have, but this quantities are limited so call now. Remember if you can pancake it you can Banancake it!
Woman: "I can now rest easier knowing that my family is safe thanks to Banancakes."
Large group of random people: "Thank you Banancakes!!"

One box to rule them all....

On and off for the last month I have been trying to solve this cube (before you click this link be sure to partially avert your eyes, as it holds a power similar to the ark of the covenant). As I found out it was possibly the most evil thing ever created. It is fueled by Satan and forged in the fires of mount doom. As far as I can tell after translating the hateful ancient language found on the box there are 9839 possible solutions, and it took me twice a fortnight before I found one. Now all that I have left to do is to take the box bake from whence it came and destroy it. If I don't make it back alive, tell my wife "hello."