One box to rule them all....

On and off for the last month I have been trying to solve this cube (before you click this link be sure to partially avert your eyes, as it holds a power similar to the ark of the covenant). As I found out it was possibly the most evil thing ever created. It is fueled by Satan and forged in the fires of mount doom. As far as I can tell after translating the hateful ancient language found on the box there are 9839 possible solutions, and it took me twice a fortnight before I found one. Now all that I have left to do is to take the box bake from whence it came and destroy it. If I don't make it back alive, tell my wife "hello."